This one's about some realizations/observations I was just able to think over when I tried to look back at the period for which I was alive so far... :)
Excluding the first few years where it was too early for my then little brain to process things that are around... :)
Would've certainly been the talk of our family circle, as is the case with every new arrival. ;)
And vague images of my then paternal grandma for whom I was the whole world, I was told. My maternal grandma instilled in me the greatest drink I've ever had so far. Coffee.
Later, was told my mom that I'd tell her this everytime my dad beats me, "Someday I'll grow big & then I'll deal with dad for all these beatings" Life's definitely funny. Only sometimes. ;)
And the next few years where I don't remember myself being too serious about knowledge, except for the curious little questions like: "why is the fan not rotating in the other direction ?", "why am i not as tall as dad ?" and being satisfied with the answers I received, which I obviously don't remember :P Btw, I still don't have an answer for the first one. Anybody...??? :)
A small incident from this phase:
I'd've been some 5/7 yrs old back then. There were some guests at home who had bought me n my sis something. After sometime, when I was jus playing with them, my dad was teaching me a little thing. To make plastic covers explode with a mini-boom. He was blowing into a cover n then blew it up. I picked up the next one, went under the fan, opened it up, closed it, came back & blew it in front of them. I remember seeing a big laughter on everybody's face, while my jus mom came & hugged me :) Tell ya, certain things are really hard to be erased from our brain, mind & heart...! :)
And the next few where Matriculation system tried to include some metrics like Time, Length, etc., which I still use, and don't feel any different from any other fellow human being here, coz almost everyone uses them all the time :(
Apart from those cute little smiles any fair kid could give to others & the numerous cream biscuits, I don't think I'd've given/received anything from/to the people around me.
And the successive few where the State Board system took over, inculcating a strong belief system that nothing-comes-out-of-the-book when the whole world was actually thinking/at-least-trying-to-think out-of-the-box !
And it was in these few years, 2 languages came into my academics, in addition to the universal English.
Tamil & Sanskrit.
The former in which I got my lowest score everytime, despite that being my mother toungue. And the latter which still makes me proud of myself. :)
Along with these, came another form of knowledge, the name of which itself meant "knowledge". Veda.
Was made to study Yajur Veda. Yes, the one perceived as the second oldest book of knowledge in this world. This makes myself not just for the content, but for the respect that it got me at the place I've been at.
Again, a little incident:
It was when I was in 7th/8th std, if I'm not wrong. We had once gone to the Kanchi Mutt for giving our annual exam on Veda.
We were chanting the syallabus with our teacher sitting in front of us. A couple seemingly in their 60's or 70's, came to that place, did a complete Namaskaram (falling completely in front of someone) to each one of us, giving Rs. 50.
Just imagine this: someone falling onto one who's not even a quarter of their age...! Doesn't happen with a yet-another-person on the street.
But I am also ashamed of myself for not remembering/practicing/even-taking-any-efforts-to-retreive the divine knowledge I was fed...!
Then comes a part of everyone's life, where people do a lot of things other than what they're supposed to do. College.
Even there, I don't think I did anything that can be boasted of.
I don't know about girls much. For them college days might be filled with studies, or at the maximum fun@hostel.
But for many other guys, theit first smoke/drink/gf/proposal/cultural show/sport/competition/definitely-hostel-fun might've been at his coll.
For me, none of these. Not even hostel fun...! Was a dayscholar, with literally none of the above-mentioned things. Now you wonder why I am, oops, "was" so desperate for a gf ;)
I was someone who'd even go for lunch, alone, most of the times.
Well, execpt for a handful of good friends to whom I can even confidently hand-over a fully loaded gun pointing at me, I've made, nothing more.
And the night-outs especially before every exam, where everything-other-than-studies seemed the most important, is worth-mentioning, but a chapter on that, later ;)
From a scene where I was bored of studying for exams, and at the end of college, had plans of opening up a browsing for a loving,
To a position where I earn 20+ k, despite doing a job not worth the money and obviously a Bachelor's degree, so far, so good. In fact, unforgivably good for the useless brain I possess.
From a small school-of-thought where talking about oneself was taught of the greatest signs of self-destruction,
To compunds of tall buildings with a Corporate so-called Culture, where appraisal is a process to do nothing but boasting, still, life seems to be so-far-so-good...
But something makes me sad when I ask myself the question, "What have I done useful to this world or at least the society I live in...?"
Switching the tubelights off, moving a stone on the road to the sides, compressing into a pocket a chocolate wrapper waiting to dispose it into a trash-can,
I feel I'm doing something everyone's supposed to, but not many are. Nothing special.
If we don't take care of our habitat, who else would even care to...?
I definitely owe a lot to this society for making me what I am now...!
I still don't know how I landed up telling a.k.a “mumbling” abt all these.
The topic actually was pretty simple: "Why I'm unable to find a topic to write about". I thus sealed the deal & tried starting to write. When I just started with the words "How could I", things took a different turn & made me write whatever I jus have...! :)
PS: The songs of the movie 180 are too good. Just unable to stop "Sandhkkaadhu kangalil inbangal" & "Nee Korinaal" ringing inside my head...! :)